A middle-aged man called out to God through his tears. Hidden tears that dare not be exposed except in private. His words were more of a plea but for what he wasn't certain. He knew something was off, lacking, a hidden desire. In the morning quiet, with cup in hand, he more than whispered, his voice broke the deafening silence, despite the open window. "Help me God!"
The air was still, no wind gently blowing, no birds singing outside the window, and not even the roar of a car passing by. He listened. He waited. For what, he didn't know. Yet beneath the heaviness, he heard it, so quiet he almost missed it. "What do you want Child. What is it your heart desires? His voice broke and to his surprise the words came freely. "I want to be whole, I want to be free, I don't want. . . I want to be sold out to YOU. No more excuses. . . I want? I want to be authentic, a man of GREAT faith."
He barely breathed as he recognized the depths of those desires. Would God, could God break through the chaos of his heart? Could He shatter the other "masters" he had placed in his life? Could God help him to love Him (God) more? Frankly, he was tired of trying to be what others expected and wanted from him. He wanted to want more. He wanted nothing but true living.
Stillness became loud. And then he heard the inaudible:
"Child what you ask shall come to pass, you will become a man of great faith and I will see you to the other side. I will produce that fruit in your life. But I must warn you that in order to grow into such faith you will walk a difficult path. Faith brings growing pains. But don't be afraid, I will be there with you, walking with you, encouraging you and showing you the way. You will pass through it to the other side and you will indeed see my glory in it."
Peace rained over him, though somehow he knew tough times lie ahead. Without skipping a beat, Doubt knocked at the door of his mind, but he dismissed it.
"Lord, why is it that sometimes it seems easier to let go and to have more faith in difficult times? Why do we seem to struggle more with the everyday trials?"
Quiet pause.
"Because in the everyday moments you think you can handle it all alone."
He held his breath and something within him KNEW the depth of that reality. He recognized how the darker moments of his life, the bankruptcy, the cancer scare, the rebellious teen and the stale marriage, could be considered gifts, instead of curses. They were opportunities to NEED Him, to desire Him, to walk WITH Him. And to grow in faith which gives way to the ability to see his Glory (in his life.) They were really days of new birth, with the ability to birth greater faith, greater joy, and greater peace. What he had seen as evil could instead become blessings of great faith.
He bowed his head and with an open heart gave thanks for the many blessings (both great and small) that he once thought as curses.
Today as we stand and face the world with all its wonders, both good and bad, let us choose to recognize the Hope to which we've been called and the blessing in every trial that comes our way.
