JOY, a Blanket for the Soul

                                                                          


The morning frost stirred so I quickly grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders. The warmth quickly settled the chill and put to rest the shiver deep within. I was grateful for the balm of the fabric, soft and plush yet my fingers, still exposed, ached from the cold.


I am a blanket girl; I love to be warm and cozy. Even growing up on warm spring and summer days I would grab my mother’s crocheted afghan and wrap it completely around until I was cocooned all snug. My step-father was always perplexed by how I could stay hidden on such warm days. I have always loved my blankets, and the older I have grown the more dependent I have become on them.



Yet some blankets can be very deceiving. They are not nearly as warm as they appear and only offer a measly morsel of protection against the frigid air. They wear the title of blanket but are simply a piece of thin fabric. Yet we grab for them just the same. I have found with such blankets a need to layer them in order to feel the warmth. Yet, isn’t it interesting that blankets themselves do not offer warmth (unless electric) rather they simply keep the warmth in that is already there?


Joy is like that. It comes from the inside and works its way out, though so often we try to heat our souls from the outside in; and for those whose joy has all but dried up one blanket is never enough. Many of us have put on faux ‘joy blankets.’ They come in many shapes and colors; appearing to be warm to the soul only to leave us bone aching cold. We shiver so we add another layer and another and another. Before we know it, the weight of the blankets become heavy and burdensome and we are bogged down.


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I asked the Lord to refine me.



“You do not know what you ask, refining is painful.”



I asked again, Lord please refine me.



He was right I did not know what I was asking. How could I? Does a student fully understand the lesson before it has been taught?



With each equation of the refining process a new layer from the faux ‘joy blanket’ pile was removed, one after another. Those blankets had been my security for such a very long time. I had hidden underneath them for so long that I simply forgot what I was hiding from. So when I laid there bare and exposed, the blankets all gone, I found myself shivering under the elements of the harsh reality of a heart longing for joy, full of insecurities. My heart raw and transparent; completely wide open; open and frail and though it hurt looking into the eyes of my insecurities; it also was in that place that God began to work; to reconstruct, to heal. I looked long and hard into the pain that I had covered for so long, that I tried to shield, and realized that even pain had become comfortable. But God removes us from ‘comfortable’ when we ask to be refined; and in the refiner’s fire he does not stand outside watching, instead he is there with us in the fire protecting us from being completely consumed and all the while he is catching our tears. Our tears he gathers and uses and I find great comfort in knowing that not one is lost. Not one tear has gone unnoticed.





I went through a period of wondering what would become of me since I stopped layering, for layering had lost its charm; it too had been exposed and laid bare. So I waited, grasping at simple trust; reaching for a good God who gives good gifts, even in the midst of fire. Though smoke threatens to choke, it is his voice that directs me to safety.





I felt much like Forrest Gump when he stopped running. In the movie, Forrest Gump, Forrest had been running and running for months. One day, he decided it was time to stop. In the middle of the desert wilderness he simply stopped. I felt like Forrest, somewhat lost, tired and ready to stop running, to stop layering, and so I too stopped. I asked God, “Now what?”



“What did Forrest do?”



He turned and he went back home.


“Yes, he turned and went back home.”

If home is where the heart is, my home needed some attention. Thankfully, the Lord is the best housekeeper and organizer when it comes to things of the heart. So I invited him in to show me more. He revealed that he had removed the blankets but wanted to replace them with authenticity, a warming of the depths which rises to the surface.


He opened my closet door and pointed to my stack of blankets which were folded ever so neatly.


“Joy is not found in the cloaks or blankets you wear or keep. There is no spiritual osmosis for Joy. Joy does not come from the outside, but rises from deep within. Circumstances will try to rob you, drowning the voice that whispers faith. Trust in my GOODNESS and this will give life to Joy. Distraction tries to blind you from the gifts I give you; there are gifts even in the pain. Fear will scream that I cannot be trusted, do not listen to that lie! Remember me in all things, and in all things you can know that it is by grace and love that I give. Nothing comes to you without first being sifted by my hands. It is all grace; it is all good, even when your feelings say otherwise. In knowing this, you can give praise, you can offer gratitude. And in that place you find JOY, genuine warmth for the soul.”

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To date I wish I could say I LIVE JOY. It seems I find it one minute and the next it has slipped away, so elusive. It is like the flutter of the whisper of God, and I am not certain it can be fully captured. But I now find peace in recognizing that I know where it lives and how to find my way back home to it again. Joy can be found yet it is a precious gem, a treasure to hold dear and close, something to be sought after. Much like the pearl, it is through abrasion that we often find it. And when the insecurities rise up their ugly heads again, I can now know that it is in trusting God in ALL things and with a grateful heart that I will find the truest treasure of all, a great pearl, one to cherish- JOY, a blanket for the soul.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:4-6











































"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
Psalm 16:10-11