A Beautiful Mosaic

                                  
  

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I have lost many members of my family over the years. As I ponder over


the kaleidoscopic of precious memories, I can't help but see God's hand


along the way. I couldn't see or understand why things happened like


they did at the time, but I have a better understanding now. Today I


cannot live in the future but I know the one who is there. He is also


with me today. We may not understand the "Why?" of our circumstances


but we can draw into the "Who" that paints our lives into a beautiful


mosaic. He is the beginning and the end, he is ever present. If you are


struggling today, direct your focus on his love and leave the


circumstances in his hands; and he will guide you to the finished product,


helping you to finish strong even when the tides seem to overtake you.


He himself is our refuge and our guide. Trust him, follow him and if you


don't know him, let me introduce him to you. His name is Jesus and he is


waiting to hear from you today.



"The salvation of the righteous (faithful) comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. The LORD helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in Him."

~Psalm 38:39-40

Choose Faith

Anxiety, like a thief in the night, comes to steal the peace of God’s children. When my head hits the pillow, anxiety never announces that will be breaking into my peaceful night’s rest. Yet it often makes its way into my room, always in the wee morning hours. Always without compassion and without warning it abruptly awakens me.  Though the room is dark and I am the only one stirred, my reaction is like a well-rehearsed dance, and I find myself always whispering the same three words, “Lord, help me.” It is a plea from deep within, below the depths of a sleepy mind.

Before this dawn the bandit once again jabbed my shoulder.

Not you again.

As usual I did not know why he came, for life is truly good. I am blessed, I am not facing disease nor any recognizable dangers in which I am aware; so why another visit?

What do you accuse me of this time?

A sudden lump in my throat, the pounding of a frightened heart meant his presence was more than known.  My mouth took its post and began to whisper the usual plea, the only thing it could speak at three am.

Lord, help me.

It was the desperate plea of a distracted soul under attack;   and yet this time, there on my pillow, something stood out differently;  A recognizable hidden despair, the desperation, and more importantly,” the doubt.”

Where is the faith?

Was my plea one of faith or one of trust? Was it simply the tapping of the panic button? My eyes opened as I tried to bury my head further, hoping to close out the darkness.

Where was the faith? Words of scripture raced through my mind…

 ^“1I, James, am a slave of God and the Master Jesus, writing to the twelve tribes scattered to Kingdom Come: Hello! Faith *Under Pressure

^2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced *into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

^5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, *without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.”

~James 1:1-8  The Message

I felt the Lord’s nudging, another word stirred in my heart…

^“6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, *with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

~Philippians 4:6

So in the moment of panic, we have a choice?  The focus of our prayer matters?

 We can respond with a frantic plea, simply hitting the panic button; hoping God will come through, yet not certain, leaving an open invitation to the seed of doubt.

But God calls us to a different type of prayer, one with power. Though we tread water and are quickly sinking, this type of prayer is like a driving force shooting us up and out of the fear that is trying to overtake us. It is when we give God thanks and acknowledge him in the moment that the power is released into our lives, the water recedes.

I remember his words to me explaining that nothing is wasted, no detail great or small. Even this moment has purpose…

This transferring of understanding settled into my soul. It took hold.

THIS is how to LIVE Christ.

I rolled over inhaling deeply. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

“Lord, thank you that you indeed are with me. Thank you that you are my refuge and my strong tower.  Thank you. Thank you, Lord that I am safe in you.”

A simple prayer of faith directed solely at magnifying him, eyes off self.

No blinding quasar of light filled the room, no choir of angels; just stillness, a turning point, a renewing of the mind.  I could sense the darkness slinking back, retreating.

Inhale. Exhale. My breathing began to deepen; my eyes grew heavy once again.

 It was the Lord who taught the lesson; my heart’s beating leaped and then slowed at this new awareness. We always have a choice. We always have a choice, whom will we believe, whom will we magnify?

It is He who holds us in his right hand; he who lifts us out of the waters deep.

And like a father leads his child, he is leading each of us. And though I don’t know where I am going, I find safety in knowing that he does. Panic will try to visit again, this I am certain. Yet in the prayer of faith, we find his cloak of protection surrounding us. The word says he goes before us and he goes behind us, he hems us in. He himself is our shelter, nothing or no one can penetrate unless he allows it. And should it be so, it is still good; for he is goodness and his purpose is ALWAYS good.

Knowing that and acknowledging that is livingfaith, is living Christ.

Ephesians 1:11-12

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ In him we were also chosen,^[a] having been predestined according to the plan of him *who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, ¹² in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ,  *might be for the praise of his glory.

*Italics mine

A THOUGHTFUL SERVICE

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The last few days, okay I'll admit it; the last few weeks I have been doing everything in my power to keep my feet from sliding down into the cavernous hole that has been set before me. I've known that hole far too well with all its stench and hopelessness. Like a scared rabbit I’ve quivered at the thought of falling into that pit once again; once inside the hole all hope of freedom seems lost in the darkness.


For anyone who has ever dealt with depression, they can relate to the twirling thoughts that forever condemn and torment; to the lack of energy as the life blood is drained, and the heaviness that slumps us down, even to our very core. Even in our dreams there is no peace. When lying in the dank darkness of the pit, sometimes even whispering a prayer takes every bit of our strength. Silence seems to rule the pit, for often prayer cannot be found. My name was carved many years ago into the dirt walls of the sulfurous cavern, along with many other silent sufferers.

Yet, I am thankful to God. Several years ago he rescued me and set my feet upon solid ground. He delivered me from the cup set before me; and from my squandering captors. Now He calls me by name. He delights in those that He loves and sings songs over them. For those who have tasted the foul breathe of the enemy God exchanges beauty for ashes and joy for mourning. (Isaiah 61:2-4)



“The Lord, your God, is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17


Yes I was set free. Stubborn however is the captor who refuses defeat. Thus he still tries to haunt my thoughts.


“If you have been set free, why do you struggle so much?” the voice questions. The carrot dangles before me. I have come to recognize the dangling trick but sometimes fail to ignore it and begin to entertain the questions as if they are my own. The anxiety then follows, so do the fears and guilt. Let’s face it; does it take much in today’s world to feel the angst, the pressure, the fear and the guilt? I've had to pull away from much noise; the cable news and even Facebook can unload too much negativity. Then there are the shorter days which are known to cause Seasonal Effective Disorder for many. Our lifestyle and diet can affect our mood as well, but it is our thought life that has the greatest impact.



Some days the temptation to listen to the liar is greater. Some days his voice seems louder, he knows our weaknesses. He is crafty and his ways are ever so subtle. The Bible says he roams around like a lion looking for someone to devour. In my world he slithers, sending suggestions of condemnation and hopelessness. "You will never change, this will always be afraid. F-A-I-L-U-R-E." Sadly, I have never truly understood the greatest ramification of giving into his words, his accusing voice; and it is not that I may fall into the pit. Oh no, his voice serves and even greater purpose.


"But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15


"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." Matthew 6:24



We cannot serve two masters. I’m thankful my master, Jesus, tells me there is no condemnation for those who are in Him. Yet sometimes I find myself wandering outside the protection of voice and refuge and wonder how on earth I got there.


Do our thoughts really matter to God?



The Bible tells us that as followers of Jesus, we are to take captive every thought and stronghold that comes against the knowledge of God; and that we must put on the mind of Christ. It tells us that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against the rulers, authorities and the power of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (2 Corinthians 10:4-6, Ephesians 6:12)



What thoughts do we entertain? Lately I have been stuck in the rut of odorous contemplation, better known as stinkin’ thinkin’. Beware, ruts can get pretty deep and sometimes difficult to climb out of.



Today I had an epiphany, a revelation. The truth will set us free. The truth is: not only do those damaging thoughts cause us pain; they turn us away from the God we hope to serve.


“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” Psalm 139:23



The Lord knows our thoughts and in his love he beacons us to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy that we may have peace. (Philippians 4:8-9) He is the Prince of Peace.



This is the character of God. He calls us to love him, honor him, magnify him and serve him in all we do. He longs for our undivided attention. Yes we magnify with our thoughts. Yes we even serve with our thoughts! When we host a party, or “entertain” do we not serve those whom we are entertaining?? Whom have you served with your thoughts recently?



The lies that have twirling about, twisted with just enough truth to catch my attention are for the very purpose of serving the enemy! Yes indeed, he knows my feeding ground and he aims for us to serve him and if we fall into the pit in the process, even better for him!


Oh I know the pit but I had no idea that by giving into the temptation to entertain such thoughts meant I was actually serving the very enemy of the lover and rescuer of my soul.


What have I been feeding on lately?? So much noise! Much has been calling for my attention and I have missed the quiet calling of the one who loves me dearly. His words give life.


He calls to me, His love so great, so amazing. He isn’t the ultimate ‘kill joy’ that the world would have us to believe. He calls us and warns us because he does not want us to fall captive. The voice of the enemy may pull but the voice of the lover nudges, and He longs for our love and his promises are great.


“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and I will bring you back from captivity.” Jeremiah 29:13-14 (italics mine)



It is his love alone that we must dwell upon, and in his very presence we find great joy. For worship is the true antidepressant, where true healing is found.



When the accusing thoughts and guilt come our way, God tells us to simply draw near and submit to him, to resist the devil and he will flee. James 4:7


If we simply will abide in Him he will produce the fruit we long for in our lives.



“I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man (or woman) abides in me and I in him (or her) he will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5



So when the accuser stands knocking at the door claiming we are not good enough or don’t DO enough; we must remember the words of the one whom we long to serve and stop striving. Trying does not make us good enough, trusting does. We must be still and know that He is God.



“You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind is stayed on you, leans on you and hopes confidently in you” Isaiah 26:3 AMP



His words, not the words of the enemy; His words alone are full of promise and hope.



“When I said, ‘my foot is slipping,’ your love O Lord supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your comfort brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:18-19


Our thoughts DO matter. They give life to whatever it is we choose to magnify; who’s voice we choose to bow to. We must remember that Worship begins with a single thought. Choose you this day Whom YOU will serve.



“One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord, all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:8

STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN

                                                 
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Some great nuggets of truth from a my archives:


Just in the last few weeks the Lord has shown me so many great truths that can be freeing, if I will just apply them to my life. I've posted about them on FB here and there. Doncha know that when the Lord does show us these truths we'll be tested on them!
I was tested yesterday big time!! The darn ol enemy just sat waiting, stalking for the perfect opportunity to start his jumping up and down and screaming in my ear, "whatcha gonna do? It'll never all get done... nothing will ever change, and if you don't do it yourself, it won't happen! There's no hope, aren't you tired just thinking about it? Why even start, it'll only be the same again tomorrow? Just look at the holes in the wall, they've been there for years... nobody cares that you've asked them to fix 'em. -why bother? You know you'll never have any peace; you'll always be dealing with this stuff. It'll never go away, nobody cares about your feelings, you'll never be used by God if all you ever do is pick up dirty socks and clean up after everyone else, you poor thing, you are so tired... you have every right to be angry, these kids are old enough, it's all your husband’s fault....if only he'd help more and set a better example..."
You know the enemy usually does add a little truth to his lies, and that is what hooks us. It is true; the holes have been there for years! And I do pick up dirty socks all the time. The Devil hates to see families flourish and he is so good at twisting things around so to cause discourse and disharmony. Thankfully my husband was out of town, so he didn't get much tongue lashing yesterday, that's just what the devil wanted. Yet, the more I sat there and stewed in it all, the more tired I became. As a matter of fact I took a nap, and wouldn't you know it, I tossed and turned the whole time, feeling guilty I wasn't doing something productive!
What I failed to recognize was that while this house is in much need of repair, (it's almost 20 years old, it's normal for things to start to wear out!) and while some of the grown kids are not pulling their weight, much had been done in the last year. Small things, mind you, yet still some things had been accomplished, but I was blind to that fact!
You know I always thought that peace would come to me when everything got done around the house to my liking, which never ever happens all at the same time. One room here, and one bush there, etc. but ALL at the same time? It is a rarity! Truthfully living in a home with messies is frustrating, and very tempting to just join them and become one of them myself. Believe me there have been some compromising moments along the way, which I think may have given added ammo to the ol devil.
But after 27 years of marriage and 4 kids, ages 16 - 25, I think I am finally starting to see a pattern here, sheez, took me long enough didn't it? I am so thankful for the truths God has shown me, so that now I can begin to put them into practice and have the peace he wants for me. I have experienced that peace a few times over the last few weeks, but I know God is calling me to a lifestyle change in which I will have it more often than not. A change by him in me, from the inside out.

He has shown me:

a. The stresses of this life (and how I perceive them-which are often askew) will always be there, no matter how hard I try to fight against them.

b. They are used by the enemy to drain us and pull us into the pit of hopelessness- look out! The pit is deep!

c. The fatigue I feel is most often a result of my attitude, not the situation itself! Attitude does determine our altitude! The physical fatigue is due to lack of joy.... And the Joy of the Lord is my strength. Praising and Worshiping him for who HE IS refreshes me physically. The antidote for fatigue is worship.


d. "In Him" (see my note on my vision) we have everything we need. Being in Christ, we have refuge, peace, strength, courage, wisdom, discernment. Joy, love, etc.

e. The Battle belongs to him. He gives us a light yoke to carry; all he asks from us is that we trust him to work out what he has already planned in advance. (His hindsight is 20/20) As well as to have a thankful heart for all the blessings we have from him, IN him and through him.

f. He doesn't call us to be 'human doings', rather he made us as 'human beings'... and that is simply to be in his presence through prayer and worship all the time, not when things simply go our way. It's a process, a journey and not a destination. My goal shouldn't be to get it all done and then rest, My goal should be, to rest in all that HE is doing.

g. We are called to walk by faith and not sight. A great analogy is when I've been cleaning all day and my husband comes home and says," So, what have you been doing?" Okay, maybe not such a great analogy, but you get the point. While we may not see the Lord working, he is orchestrating things all the time on our behalf. He is our biggest cheerleader and he is our Savior, our deliverer, our coach, our friend and our rescuer.

h. The Lord says, to STOP,LOOK and LISTEN;

Stop: Stand Still, Worship God right in the middle of it all, especially when you don't feel like it!
Look: Look out for the enemies traps, because as we begin to have victory over and over again, he'll set new ones!
LISTEN: As we stop listening to the enemies lies, mixed in with a tiny bit of truth, we MUST start listening to the promises of God and his leading for the next step in our lives. One thing I must always remember, because I am "IN HIM", if I do choose to step out too quickly-without his leading- I'd step right out of his will and refuge for me. Only In Him is where I find the peace and harmony I so long for, not in a home that appears to be without flaws and imperfection... no such home exists... though the devil would have us all to believe otherwise.
Thankfully his grace is sufficient and his mercies are new each morning. Today’s motto: Stop, LOOK, and Listen.






“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” ~Jesus