Anxiety, like a thief in the night, comes to steal the peace of God’s children. When my head hits the pillow, anxiety never announces that will be breaking into my peaceful night’s rest. Yet it often makes its way into my room, always in the wee morning hours. Always without compassion and without warning it abruptly awakens me. Though the room is dark and I am the only one stirred, my reaction is like a well-rehearsed dance, and I find myself always whispering the same three words, “Lord, help me.” It is a plea from deep within, below the depths of a sleepy mind.
Before this dawn the bandit once again jabbed my shoulder.
Not you again.
As usual I did not know why he came, for life is truly good. I am blessed, I am not facing disease nor any recognizable dangers in which I am aware; so why another visit?
What do you accuse me of this time?
A sudden lump in my throat, the pounding of a frightened heart meant his presence was more than known. My mouth took its post and began to whisper the usual plea, the only thing it could speak at three am.
Lord, help me.
It was the desperate plea of a distracted soul under attack; and yet this time, there on my pillow, something stood out differently; A recognizable hidden despair, the desperation, and more importantly,” the doubt.”
Where is the faith?
Was my plea one of faith or one of trust? Was it simply the tapping of the panic button? My eyes opened as I tried to bury my head further, hoping to close out the darkness.
Where was the faith? Words of scripture raced through my mind…
“1I, James, am a slave of God and the Master Jesus, writing to the twelve tribes scattered to Kingdom Come: Hello! Faith *Under Pressure
2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced *into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, *without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.”
~James 1:1-8 The Message
I felt the Lord’s nudging, another word stirred in my heart…
“6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, *with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
~Philippians 4:6
So in the moment of panic, we have a choice? The focus of our prayer matters?
We can respond with a frantic plea, simply hitting the panic button; hoping God will come through, yet not certain, leaving an open invitation to the seed of doubt.
But God calls us to a different type of prayer, one with power. Though we tread water and are quickly sinking, this type of prayer is like a driving force shooting us up and out of the fear that is trying to overtake us. It is when we give God thanks and acknowledge him in the moment that the power is released into our lives, the water recedes.
I remember his words to me explaining that nothing is wasted, no detail great or small. Even this moment has purpose…
This transferring of understanding settled into my soul. It took hold.
THIS is how to LIVE Christ.
I rolled over inhaling deeply. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
“Lord, thank you that you indeed are with me. Thank you that you are my refuge and my strong tower. Thank you. Thank you, Lord that I am safe in you.”
A simple prayer of faith directed solely at magnifying him, eyes off self.
No blinding quasar of light filled the room, no choir of angels; just stillness, a turning point, a renewing of the mind. I could sense the darkness slinking back, retreating.
Inhale. Exhale. My breathing began to deepen; my eyes grew heavy once again.
It was the Lord who taught the lesson; my heart’s beating leaped and then slowed at this new awareness. We always have a choice. We always have a choice, whom will we believe, whom will we magnify?
It is He who holds us in his right hand; he who lifts us out of the waters deep.
And like a father leads his child, he is leading each of us. And though I don’t know where I am going, I find safety in knowing that he does. Panic will try to visit again, this I am certain. Yet in the prayer of faith, we find his cloak of protection surrounding us. The word says he goes before us and he goes behind us, he hems us in. He himself is our shelter, nothing or no one can penetrate unless he allows it. And should it be so, it is still good; for he is goodness and his purpose is ALWAYS good.
Knowing that and acknowledging that is livingfaith, is living Christ.
Ephesians 1:11-12
New International Version (NIV)
11 In him we were also chosen,[a] having been predestined according to the plan of him *who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, *might be for the praise of his glory.
*Italics mine
This is a wonderful post. I feel this is something I needed to read because I have been having some sleepless nights, couldn't sleep and started to slip into depression. I would cry until my head ached and then I found myself calling out to the Lord for help, I couldn't figure out what else to say, I could only say Help me, and eventually I fell asleep and woke up the next day feeling better. He restores my joy everytime. God truly deserves all the glory.
ReplyDeleteA great post. Yes, we can find ourselves anxious for many reasons, and even no particular reason at all. Something nags at us, like a dog barking in the distance at night or a tap dripping every half minute; it's not serious but it gets to us.
ReplyDeleteI have come to understand through reading blogs like yours (and so many blogs are wonderful to read, so much talent) we all have different worries; for some like me it's money worries, for others it's uncertainty, for someone else it's a lack of education, and so on and so on. I put all my faith in God that He meets my needs before anything else. Goodness knows I was a consummate sinner, but with God's mercy and grace, I am beginning to walk upright and in faith. My past is being forgiven, my present is getting better and I believe I have a future; and it's all down to Jesus! What more can I add to that?!
Thank you both for your comments. I couldn't agree with you both more,it's all because of HIM :) Christ alone.
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