Safe in His Arms

                                                          google image

For the Marble chaser freedom uncovers itself one pearl at a time. 

Today's marble is unbelief.

Marble chasers aims high but their focus is always low. Their goal is perfection and their desire for it stems from their need to be accepted; to avoid the pain of rejection, shame and fear. To be able to attain perfection is merely an illusion. Still, they chase after it. All the while it can never be completely grasped; it's always just a step away.  

To come face to face with the fears of a Marble chaser leaves them feeling vulnerable. But it is through facing the fears that they are able to let go of the next marble. They may have an open wound for a moment but in the end they are left with healed new skin. 

I read once that scars are stronger than healthy unwounded skin. I know this is true; for it is in the scars of our Savior that we have opportunity for true wholeness, healing and our true identity exposed. He exchanges marbles for his beautiful pearls.  

LOVE, himself calls to this marble chaser. Over time he has revealed how futile all her marble chasing has been. Yet, learning new habits takes time and patience. Something she hopes to learn quicker than later.  She calls back to LOVE and asks about her agenda, her lists, and her responsibilities? And while all of those things wear the mask of importance, in her heart she desires for a greater purpose, “What is important, what truly matters when it’s all said and done?  Are clean dishes and tidy drawers to be the goal of this life? Can there be satisfaction found in such lifeless goals?”

Life seems to always produce lists, even for the non-marble chaser. Yet it seems over time marble chasers find themselves getting less  and less accomplished with each passing day; much like a dog chasing his tail.  And with it the emotions intensify and the fear of failure rises up. Rejection’s breath blows hot. 

Ah, but to find peace in the midst of the emotion, could this be the goal required of the marble chaser? Could the journey of learning a new way of thinking, of seeing, and believing truly be the destination; the place where contentment is found? Could it be that the journey, this life, is truly the destination? LOVE smiles and opens His arms wide.

He answers, “I am your peace. Come beyond the veil child. Come into my presence, for I AM Peace. Be still, listen and I will lead you. Your purpose is not found in your accomplishments but in your surrendering. To become you must first end.  It is not even found in loving extravagantly, as you once thought. No, Seek ME FIRST, come into MY presence, and receive from me. Let my peace wash over you, fill you to a fullness you've never known. Then you can allow me to pour out my love to others. This is where I want your focus, the rest will be worked out in good timing. BELIEVE in my goodness and my grace. Trust in me. Trust that in me you are always safe.”

A memory washes over me. Pages from long ago flood my mind. There in black and white the words ‘fear’ and ‘doubt’ stain  the face of a six year old little girl. The day she learned experienced disbelief.

She stood on the edge of the public pool looking down into the face of her step father, whom she called “Daddy.”   He stood in the water, arms open wide, a smile planted on his face, beckoning her to jump. The concrete, extraordinarily hot sent her toes into a tippy toe dance. The splashes, laughter and screams of excited children filled the pool. And for the little one who could not swim it sent waves of exhilaration throughout her little frame. Moms and Dads lined the fence sunbathing and chatting.  Desperate to enter into the fun she giggled with anticipation. 

“Jump, I’m right here, I’ll catch you,” her Daddy said firmly.

Then she felt it. Her eyes grew quiet as fear overcame her excitement.

“I can’t.  I’m scared. What if you drop me and I drown?”

 “Jump ! I won’t drop you,” his face became solemn.

Her little lips stammered, calculating the outcome, her toes still dancing as the heat rose to her face. She wanted to join in, but her fear caused her to doubt her own safety.

His face shifted, and she saw impatience in the furrow of his brow.

“Look, at that little girl.” He pointed. “She’s smaller than you and she’s not afraid.” An initiation of sorts; a myriad of emotion bundled into that one moment; a moment that would follow her the rest of her life.

A memory flashed through her six year old mind; Her mother's face and the pain in it caused by the very hands of her daddy. In her little mind, though she tried to make sense of the good and the evil he was capable of she could not. And in that moment trusting him seemed to wash away with each splash, with each stare.  The painful glances of the boys and girls next to her jabbed at her and with it a new wave of emotion. Her feet became painfully hot and she was desperate for relief but in that moment even the pain felt more comfortable than the fear that grasped her.

Her head dropped as she gave a nervous smile their way. Even her tippy toeing stopped as she stared at the water's depth. It was clearly over her head. What if he dropped her? Wasn't he a teaser, a prankster, what if he was teasing now?  This man she called Daddy for a short while could not understand her fear. He was overcome by his own sadness and embarrassment at her lack of trust in him. And soon his sadness turned to anger. Instead of calming the tiny one's fears, his voice grew firmer. 

There is no recollection of her jumping, or landing safely in her Daddy's arms. Instead the memory fast forwards to her daddy getting out of the water, his anger obvious to all. Her mother tried to calm him, but it only caused more upset. The little one was left feeling both ashamed and fearful; and with it sadness that she would not experience the joy of splashing in the water.

And so a new question arises, is God angry with us when we doubt; when we don’t believe he will catch us; when we don’t feel safe? Does he bail on us when we stammer? 

There’s a quiet nudging:

“Trust me; in my arms you are always safe. I do not shame you nor am I quick to anger. I lovingly teach you. I know your limitations. But you must know that it is your unbelief that will keep you from walking on water, from living the full life; from splashing joyfully.”

Calmness rains over me; and along with it a quiet voice calls.

"There are only a few things I require of you: 

#1 Run to the other side of the veil, to my LOVE where grace is the foundation for all things I have for you.

#2 Seek to hear my voice, to be in my presence, to love me as extravagantly as I love you. In that you will find true contentment.

#3 Remember I am writing the Great story, focus on what matters eternally,  all the rest will eventually fade away.

#4 Be Still and know I AM GOD.  Stay focused on my arms, not the waves."

Yes, we are safe to jump into the deep waters.  God holds us in his  arms. We can believe that He can be trusted, he will catch us each time.  He has a pearl waiting, we simply must Believe.