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She sat with the Lord one morning and stared at the shadows casting at her feet. No words came at first; they seemed stuck in the pit of her pain. Looking up with defeated eyes the words began to slowly spill along with her tears. To her amazement his unexpected reply gave great healing and peace. All that she had expected and all that she had experienced up to this point in her life did not prepare her for this sweet moment; honey to her mouth, a balm to a broken and defeated spirit, a refreshing of the driest of bones.
The words she poured forth were mere questions. Questions given throughout all generations, yet hers were personal and she hoped it would mean something to his listening ear. Her “whys” and “hows” had reached him times far too numerous to count. Yet in his unconditional love and mercy he was faithful to hear.
“Why have I been so defeated over and over again? No matter how hard I try, it seems that this same sadness and frustration has followed me since early childhood. You of all know even in my crib there was a great sadness. I cannot rid myself of it. I’ve tried, Lord, you know I have tried!” Boldness found its way into her heart as she continued her plea.
“I have worked hard, I have strived, I have even surrendered; and yet the victory never seems to stay. Pockets of time there was joy, but like a whisper it eventually fades. As I look back through my life, I see it is as this choking rope running through each phase of my life, choking the life right out of that chapter. I have fought and fought, but there is no more fight left, I am tired. I am defeated now Lord, I am overwhelmed; I cannot go on like this any longer. Some days are filled with such joy and hope and others this great sorrow creeps upon me and sucks the strength from me. Surely you can take this common thread and remove it from me?”
She could almost hear the sound of a tear running down his cheek. A breeze flowed over her and there was a smile in the sound of his reply. “Child, this thread has been a gift to you. What you see as suffering, I see as grace. What you see as defeat I see as a final victory. This thread is not just any thread but a Golden thread. I am purifying you to become more like me. It is a beautiful thing, not to be gotten rid of, but to be embraced. You see the now, but I see the results. You see the pain, and I see the final healing. You see the defeat, but I know the Victor. What you want to rid yourself of is the very thing that I will use in your life to bring beauty into the lives of others. So stop striving, and simply believe.”
Instinctively and unavailable to words, she understood. What she had prayed to be taken from her was the very thing that would become the story of her life, a beautiful tale. Though she had not recognized it, in her suffering and pain was great beauty, a golden thread; part of a greater story, a greater purpose. It was through His grace that she was always able to continue. No longer would she ask for it to be removed, instead only to be found faithful. Through it all, she recognized that in the pain and the joy she always ended up pointing to him. And in a new strange and miraculous way, that was enough.
She sat with the Lord one morning and stared at the shadows casting at her feet. No words came at first; they seemed stuck in the pit of her pain. Looking up with defeated eyes the words began to slowly spill along with her tears. To her amazement his unexpected reply gave great healing and peace. All that she had expected and all that she had experienced up to this point in her life did not prepare her for this sweet moment; honey to her mouth, a balm to a broken and defeated spirit, a refreshing of the driest of bones.
The words she poured forth were mere questions. Questions given throughout all generations, yet hers were personal and she hoped it would mean something to his listening ear. Her “whys” and “hows” had reached him times far too numerous to count. Yet in his unconditional love and mercy he was faithful to hear.
“Why have I been so defeated over and over again? No matter how hard I try, it seems that this same sadness and frustration has followed me since early childhood. You of all know even in my crib there was a great sadness. I cannot rid myself of it. I’ve tried, Lord, you know I have tried!” Boldness found its way into her heart as she continued her plea.
“I have worked hard, I have strived, I have even surrendered; and yet the victory never seems to stay. Pockets of time there was joy, but like a whisper it eventually fades. As I look back through my life, I see it is as this choking rope running through each phase of my life, choking the life right out of that chapter. I have fought and fought, but there is no more fight left, I am tired. I am defeated now Lord, I am overwhelmed; I cannot go on like this any longer. Some days are filled with such joy and hope and others this great sorrow creeps upon me and sucks the strength from me. Surely you can take this common thread and remove it from me?”
She could almost hear the sound of a tear running down his cheek. A breeze flowed over her and there was a smile in the sound of his reply. “Child, this thread has been a gift to you. What you see as suffering, I see as grace. What you see as defeat I see as a final victory. This thread is not just any thread but a Golden thread. I am purifying you to become more like me. It is a beautiful thing, not to be gotten rid of, but to be embraced. You see the now, but I see the results. You see the pain, and I see the final healing. You see the defeat, but I know the Victor. What you want to rid yourself of is the very thing that I will use in your life to bring beauty into the lives of others. So stop striving, and simply believe.”
Instinctively and unavailable to words, she understood. What she had prayed to be taken from her was the very thing that would become the story of her life, a beautiful tale. Though she had not recognized it, in her suffering and pain was great beauty, a golden thread; part of a greater story, a greater purpose. It was through His grace that she was always able to continue. No longer would she ask for it to be removed, instead only to be found faithful. Through it all, she recognized that in the pain and the joy she always ended up pointing to him. And in a new strange and miraculous way, that was enough.
Hmmm; very good and thought-provoking post. Like a novella.
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